Elizabeth Kendig is the founder of Healers, a community dedicated to making healing accessible with holistic wisdom, trusted practitioners and virtual healing experiences for mind, body and spirit.
It had been nearly two years since I had started my podcast, Healers, and just as much time had passed while I struggled to create the healing space I wanted to give the world: woo woo content without the weird, a directory of trusted holistic practitioners, and a community for the spiritually curious to support each other on their healing path.
Sounds pretty great, right?
It is, but putting Healerswanted.com out into the world was the most painful experience of my life—and I’ve seen some things.
After months of checking all of the boxes that go into building a new business, Healers was ready to go. My web developer had even encouraged me to push the button myself. It’s a celebration! Woo hoo!
And yet, I still couldn’t pull the trigger. What if I no one came? What if no one actually wanted this thing that I had dedicated my life and my life savings to? What if all I heard was. . . crickets.
This fear had been an undercurrent from the beginning, pulling me down and sneaking up on my psyche, meanwhile the pragmatic and perfectionist side of me wrote content strategies and pushed around pixels. The same fear kept me from feeling confident, excited and in the flow while building a business that I knew needed those very qualities to succeed.
I masked the fear with some big and, yes, valid excuses—new marriage, a bad back, cross-country moves, refining the mission, yada—but really my latent procrastination came down to crickets.
No one else would’ve guessed this, myself included, because I was already a successful entrepreneur. An editor by trade, I had started a beauty blog a decade ago and accidentally become an influencer, complete with millions of Pinterest followers, big brand collaborations and a skincare line with my name on it. I had turned writing and having an opinion into a bona fide business. And it was beautiful—for a while.
Then Trump was elected and I couldn’t bring myself to post one more tube of lipstick (don’t worry, I still love my Bobbi Brown). I had also been on a self-help bender, exploring every spiritual and metaphysical experience I could get my hands on to heal a lifetime of depression and, ahem, paralyzing self-doubt. It had worked—mostly. But now my career no longer reflected this truer version of myself.
As I started to build Healers, a twisted thing happened. The healing started to wear off. Suddenly I didn’t feel whole, I felt like a fraud. I stopped trusting myself—or the Universe. I wasn’t at peace. I was freaking out about Healers being a total flop and just wanted to eat bagels and lox with dill cream cheese.
Cue the crickets.
I realize that the fear of failure isn’t uncommon. We all need validation. But when something external keeps us from fully expressing our highest selves, it needs to be checked. We will never find peace outside of ourselves. What helped me to finally push past the fear of crickets and launch Healers was realizing that my self-worth isn’t about what I do, it’s about who I am.
And who I am is a messenger and a space-holder. I created Healers to give you a place to take healing into your own hands. Where you can advocate for your life and your right to feel good. With Healers I humbly offer you the resources and wisdom that I wish I had a decade ago when I sat on a therapist’s couch for the first time. When I was so disconnected from my body that I couldn’t breathe into my belly. When I was so cut off from my soul that I had lost the desire to get out of bed.
Whether you’re frozen about starting a business, writing that book, or asking a potential soulmate out on a date, consider the spiritual meaning of the cricket: good luck, genuine happiness, and good cheer.
May you have all three, not because of how the world reacts to your leap but because you took it. You honored your soul and only good can come of that.
KEEP HEALING: The Fold readers enjoy their first month free when you join Healers. Use code FOLD at checkout. Don’t miss May’s group session: Befriending Your Inner Critic with holistic therapist Dr. Anna Roth.