Shelby Earl Is Performing Again and 'Cultivating Joy' For Herself In The Process
Photo of Shelby Earl by Genevieve Pierson
I last profiled Seattle singer-songwriter, Shelby Earl, five years ago. Collectively our lives have changed so much since that spring day in 2019, but few more so than Shelby's. Since our last conversation Shelby has welcomed a child, moved into a new home, and experienced breathtaking losses in an intensely short period of time. Cumulative grief, as we've learned, is the definition of losing 5 family members in a very short amount of time, including her husband and her stepdad of 35 years.
In full transparency, Shelby is a dear friend. Unlike many of the interviews shared on this platform, I am not merely basing my questions on research and my familiarity of the person's work. I have been a witness to the gut wrenching and unfathomable loss she has experienced in the past two years. I have also witnessed her tremendous courage, vulnerability and strength, all of which will be on display as Shelby returns to the stage for the first time in 2 years this Friday, May 24 with "Songs For Singing III" at The Triple Door in Seattle.
I spoke with Shelby about her upcoming show, what her creative process through and beside grief looks like, being a sole parent and the two factors that greatly influenced her decision to play publicly again. Her answers mirrored how I (and many others) see Shelby and her talents: honest, generous and beautiful.
You have a show on Friday, May 24 at The Triple Door: "Songs for Singing III". Can you share the story behind this series of concerts?
Yes! This is a special show for me, for several reasons. I generally record and play shows with a full band, but some years ago my friend (and the producer of my album, Swift Arrows) Damien Jurado, said "You know what I want? I want to hear your songs totally stripped down, performed with just your voice and a piano. Can you please play a show like that?" I thought that was kind of him, and such a great compliment. And I loved his idea, but the vision sort of grew from there and I thought "we've got to also add strings!" Thankfully, my amazingly talented bandmate, Billy Brush (keys), and my composer pal Andrew Joslyn, both caught the vision and have since helped to create this ever-evolving set of piano/string arrangements of my tunes. This will be our 3rd time doing the show, with 5 new arrangements added this time, and we expect it to be another magical night.
It's your first live performance in some time, how are you feeling? What are you most looking forward to and what have you missed most about being on stage?
It will be my first time on stage in nearly two years, but I’m feeling good. Don’t get me wrong, I was RUSTY going into this. But Billy and I started practicing months ago and I’ve been working hard to dust off the pipes. The unfortunate part about the time I’ve taken away from performing is that I feel like I had just (finally) gotten good, like really confident and strong as a performer, before the wheels came off the bus and I had to take a hiatus. But in practicing for this show I have felt some of that strength return and it’s been really healing. Not to mention the natural endorphins one gets from singing! You force breath into your body when you sing and it is transformative, no matter how crappy you might feel going into it. I have missed that about singing regularly. It’s like medicine! There is also an emotional exchange that happens with an audience that I find deeply nourishing and meaningful. I’ve missed that dynamic as well, and I look forward to experiencing it again next week.
I know you will be accompanied by some fantastic people - who is joining you? And, will you be playing any new material?
I will be joined onstage by my super talented bandmate Billy Brush (on piano) and the Passenger String Quartet (plus a couple of surprise appearances to-be-revealed at the show!). Unfortunately, this time the quartet will be missing their fearless leader, Andrew Joslyn. Andrew and his wife are expecting their first baby, and they are due on show day! Thankfully, he has still been able to be involved leading up to the show, and he’s composed 5 beautiful new string arrangements for songs we’ve added to the setlist. Some are brand new; some are from the archives. Billy actually showed up to our first rehearsal with a list of older tunes of mine that he wanted to explore, and it’s been fun (and in some cases really powerful) to revisit those songs.
There’s also a very special being opening the show; the magical Julia Massey of Seattle band Warren Dunes. She and I haven’t known each other for long, but she’s one of the people from the Seattle music community who unexpectedly showed up (on my literal doorstep) with active, loving care when my life took a tragic turn last year. She is a real gem of a human and performer, and it feels good and right to share this bill with her.
As someone who is lucky enough to be in your close orbit, I know that the past few years have been laced with tremendous loss and grief. How has your lived experience shaped your music? How did you know now was the time to share your art publicly?
Yes. It’s been a life-altering few years. My family has lost 5 beloved members in a very short amount of time, including my husband and my stepdad of 35 years. We are still reeling, and still very much in process with our grief. And I have been writing a bit lately, but I’m not going to introduce that material at this show. It’s too much. It’s too heavy. I don’t want to do that to an audience. And frankly, I don’t want to do that to myself! (heh)
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Shelby Earl is Performing Again and 'Cultivating Joy' For Herself In The Process
After a 2 year break and a tremendous amount of loss, Shelby Earl is back to play The Triple Door in Seattle on Friday, May 24.
SEATTLE: YOU'RE INVITED! Join us for After Hours, a pop-up shopping event featuring curated wares from Noihsaf Bazaar on Thursday, March 21!
Shop Noihsaf Bazaar in real life with us at The Cloud Room in Seattle!
"Grief Is For People", Sloane Crosley's latest book, is an intimate depiction of the complicated, intricate grief that accompanies suicide and the loss of a best friend.
"There is information about what to do when there is loss of a spouse, loss of a child or loss of a parent. In the book, I lament that there is no guidebook to loss of a friendship, which is the one relationship that we all have in our lives."
Going into this, I wasn’t looking to play out any time soon. In fact, I wondered if I could even care about doing it again at all. Priorities change a lot when people close to you die. But a couple things happened. First, I met with a medium, and my husband came through 100% in the session. It was a wild hour and a half full of super evidential information that the medium in no way could’ve known (from the internet or elsewhere). But what was most compelling about it was how she nailed his personality. At one point in the conversation, she laughed and said, “he’s just said ‘when is she going to get back to work?’” I nearly fell off my chair. If you knew my husband well, you knew his work ethic, and you knew how much he believed in me and my music. He could not tolerate inaction. And he would get frustrated if he felt I was squandering my talents. It really felt like him telling me it was time to get going again.
The second factor in deciding to play has been Billy Brush’s presence and influence. He sent me a note last year, just a gentle nudge, saying that whenever I was in the space to do some music again, he’d love to be involved. Since then, he’s been so encouraging and diligent in showing up and playing songs with me, but he’s also been very sensitive and hasn’t pushed. Thank God for him getting me moving! Because from our very first rehearsal I could immediately feel that music was what was going to lift me from my fog (even though I also cried through most of the songs the first few times we practiced). Ultimately, I reached out to the Triple Door to see about doing this show there again. We scheduled it waaaaay out in the future to give ourselves loads of time to prepare, so it’s wild to think it’s almost here!
Lastly, this “Songs for Singing” format was my husband’s favorite show of mine. He was so proud on these nights. In many ways this feels like the sweetest, most honoring way to step back into my musical life.
Show poster art by Becca Fuhrman
What has surprised you about preparing for this show at this moment?
Well, if there’s anything I’ve realized in preparing for this show, it’s that no matter how light and fun I’m hoping to make the night for the audience, my grief will still accompany me. I’m a pretty buoyant person, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that grief is my new sidekick in all things. That doesn’t mean I’m blue all the time, I’m not. But the reality is that no matter how strong and positive I intend to be on stage, my husband’s chair will still be empty, and no one in the room is going to be able to forget that, least of all me. Plus, singing makes you go deep into your body; it unearths things you were attempting to hide away. Because of that, it is entirely possible that my grief will poke its head up at some point in the night. It’s almost like my audience and I just have to get through this first one together. My sense is that the night will be like a big, group hug. And I’m choosing to just let the experience be whatever it needs to be. That’s the truth about performing anyway, you can really only show up with the self you have to offer in that moment.
I will say though, we’ve cultivated beauty in this set of music, and that is cultivating a lot of joy in me. So, I hope that is also felt and received by the audience.
I would be remiss if I did not bring up motherhood, as I know it is a big part of your life and identity. You are a sole parent, which I mention because it is decidedly different from being a single parent on many levels (not saying that either are easy in any way, shape or form), especially when it comes to time and energy. How did you find the space, literally and emotionally, to make this event happen?
Truth speak, I was ONLY able to prepare for this show – physically and emotionally – because I don’t have a full-time job right now. I was laid off last year when my company was going under, and the time and space has turned out to be a great gift. I like to think my husband somehow orchestrated it from the beyond because he knew I needed time to find my feet. I will also tell you that all preparation for this show has happened on weekdays between 9am and 5pm when my kiddo was at preschool. 😊
Finally, how do you see your music evolving in the future? And, how has that vision changed and/or stayed the same?
I’m only going to partially answer this one, because it is entirely to-be-revealed. I feel very open-fisted about music, about how/where it will fit into my life, and what kinds of things I might make from here on out. But songs keep arriving. So as long as that is happening, I’m going to assume there’s work to be done.
In the meantime, I’m going to force myself out of my little hidey hole and go sing some songs in a big, beautiful, love-bomb of a room. Then, we’ll go from there.
*SEATTLE! Shelby has graciously gifted 2 tickets to her show this Friday, May 24 to The Fold community. Enter here to win!
